Bereft and bewildered

Hello!  It's only 6.45am and I have already been awake three hours!  I've already finished my book (although only about four chapters), opened up the greenhouses, written and posted a birthday card, made a complaint to Marks and Spencer's (another first), sorted a few messages out on local FB Noticeboards regarding the collection of free furniture, and had two cups of tea!  The weather forecast is for a hot couple of days - 30 degrees - so from our Australian experience I know that it's recommended to get things done in the morning.  Hopefully I will have a little snooze later today.

So, this all sounds quite positive but I have to admit that I'm not necessarily feeling too bright and breezy.  In actual fact, I think I might be a bit depressed.  Obviously the impact of bereavement affects us all in a different manner of ways, and the unusual lock-down circumstances and the current 'be alert' situation has had an impact.  This is the same for all people grieving the 43,000 loved ones who have died because of Covid19 (so far).  I would not be surprised if there is an massive influx of additional requests for counselling and support over the next few months,  

In light of this, the past couple of weeks has been focused on organising my sister's personal belongings and furniture and so on.  Having said that, I have had limited physical input as Paul has taken control of everything (sorting and packing, and logistics) for the family - and has been truly fabulous.  

Additionally, on top of all this, over the past few weeks and following a quick (and in my opinion) limited "consultation" I have been made redundant.  As if things could get worse 'eh?  The redundancy, as I have been reassured, is linked to a big restructure within the organisation due to the impact of Covid19 on the business revenue. Despite this knowledge my confidence has been severely knocked, and has come at a time when already feeling subdued and disenfranchised. Naturally I am upset about the decision but try to be philosophical and phlegmatic - but at times this is not easy.  However, what's that phrase?  Least said, soonest mended...?

So, I do not want to bore everyone with the minutiae of what happened and when and who said what and my opinion is such-and-such.... instead, I thought the following garden photos (taken yesterday) might bring a bit of cheerful colour to the end of a grey-ish blog. Thank goodness for the garden - it provides ample distraction and both mental relief and physical work too!